Tuesday, February 28, 2017

IN THE BEDROOM COMMUNITY

cold and crisp, the neighbor 
dog's barking for no reason

bronchitis making the day's
first cigaret go down hard

today's espresso, not
a god shot but entirely satisfactory

some of the family golden-years
elders are improving, some

shut in, no visitors 
until further notice

facebook bristles with the usual
political squabbles and excellent food pics

my relatives all have
employment except maybe for

one--my great-uncles were career 
housemen, at great-grandma's

boarding house, didn't work 
for wages even during the greatest generation war

the great war disabled some permanently
even with the brilliant bannered welcomes

even with total victory, the bomb, beaten 
wives and small children, total silence, victory



copyright © 2017 by patrick o'hayer
WELLNESS

been hocking 
loogies

for three weeks
i'm dying

until i see 
the neighbor's

dog, he does 
his business

on the parkway
and meeting

anybody on the 
sidewalk wags

his tail using his 
entire body joyously

infectiously, brilliantly
he suffers from

numerous ailments 
so that his

scrumptious owner
forbids my giving

him treats 
bought especially

for the purpose
which saddens me

enormously
but with his epilepsy

his social anxiety
so she says

i honor her 
wishes, look on

from afar, from 
across the street

oh, that he 
were mine

oh, that he
were mine



copyright © 2017 by patrick o'hayer

Thursday, February 9, 2017

METEMPSYCHOSIS?
fresh and fluent, fabulous
a diamond in the rough
diamond dave
but a fidgety ladies man
fraught with love need
conquistador-ing
handsome dave
but as well a trickster in pursuit
prevaricator, poetic inventor
dave the liar
but huge flightiness
this, that, this, then back to double this
so he went to portlandia to stabilize
returning sometime later
somewhat recognizable
added pounds of text
mathematician, logician, weighted
with quick-fire words on
multiple new subjects
but the labia minora now foregone
neo-monkitude
neo-celibacy
in my ending is my
beginning, or words
to that effect
copyright © 2017 by p.j.o'hayer
WHY I HATE SPORTS BALL
cowboy's come-back
most stirring in decades
against pretty boy aaron rogers
--that ill-natured lucky putz--
most stirring maybe in all
sports ball history
but the pack's
flock of angels intervened
one blown pass coverage
one sideline hail mary grab
and then a long field goal
swooshes the uprights
nothing but net
but
the cowboys' tying
field goal misses by a foot
blown left by the pack's
guardian angels'
intense wing beats
can't wait
for the pack to encounter
Gisele Caroline B√ľndchen's Brazilian
Victoria's Secret mojo
good luck to the pack's angels
but i'm betting gisele's
pure macumba
cleavage
--deflated pigskin reminds tom of those heavenly girls--
and you should too
copyright © 2017 by p. o'hayer
THE RICH ARE DIFFERENT FROM YOU AND ME
“Yeah, they have more money” ~Papa Hemingway
Bill Clinton screwed everybody he could
from Hope, Arkansas, to Timbuktu
the Dems said what’s the big deal!
Monica Shmonica!
but Donaldo’s infamous “locker room talk”
incensed one and all and then
when he cagily triumphed,
then the Dems' youge double-standard,
and then embarrassingly
the sour grapes, shockingly sore
losers almost beyond measure then suddenly
the US Constitution has it backwards! ahem
Gore Vidal said that
he and JFK each had at least 500
sex partners over their lives
and JFK died young: celebrity sex
but Gore’s Malibu housemate Paul Newman
when queried about Hollywood sex said
When you have steak at home
you don’t go looking for hamburger
Alexander Hamilton was murdered by Aaron Burr
over St. Alexander’s infidelity
celebrity philandering can have
its price but it can yield 16 Tony
nominations and win eleven
who’s kidding who?
Copyright © 2017 by Patrick O’Hayer

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

ON THE MEND
been croupy for 10 days
not helped by tobacco addiction
camels-luckies-menthols
growing up was always seriously
anti-smoking, nagged my mom
a passionate smoker since her early teens
yet, like all antis, i yenned
to experience the poison, finally started
in boot camp to avoid policing
the area during smoke breaks
--chose camels to honor kramer-o'grady
only pals who then puffed--
visiting the daughter to recover,
always straighten out here,
lose weight, re-connect
having absinthe with my coffee
to honor van gogh, who enjoyed
immensely his pipe, his hallucinogenics
lethal tobacco has anxiolitic
qualities and dampens appetite
big plusses in my current state
daughter suggested taking
a sick day today, no cavorting
no pool hall, no museums, no baking
just curling up with the dogs
and HBO Now, sr. avila
GoT, sex in the city
deadwood, wired, the young pope,
roommates, insecure,
deadwood, louis ck,
will report
positive outcomes
presently
copyright © 2017 by p .j. o'hayer