Thursday, February 9, 2017

fresh and fluent, fabulous
a diamond in the rough
diamond dave
but a fidgety ladies man
fraught with love need
handsome dave
but as well a trickster in pursuit
prevaricator, poetic inventor
dave the liar
but huge flightiness
this, that, this, then back to double this
so he went to portlandia to stabilize
returning sometime later
somewhat recognizable
added pounds of text
mathematician, logician, weighted
with quick-fire words on
multiple new subjects
but the labia minora now foregone
in my ending is my
beginning, or words
to that effect
copyright © 2017 by p.j.o'hayer
cowboy's come-back
most stirring in decades
against pretty boy aaron rogers
--that ill-natured lucky putz--
most stirring maybe in all
sports ball history
but the pack's
flock of angels intervened
one blown pass coverage
one sideline hail mary grab
and then a long field goal
swooshes the uprights
nothing but net
the cowboys' tying
field goal misses by a foot
blown left by the pack's
guardian angels'
intense wing beats
can't wait
for the pack to encounter
Gisele Caroline B√ľndchen's Brazilian
Victoria's Secret mojo
good luck to the pack's angels
but i'm betting gisele's
pure macumba
--deflated pigskin reminds tom of those heavenly girls--
and you should too
copyright © 2017 by p. o'hayer
“Yeah, they have more money” ~Papa Hemingway
Bill Clinton screwed everybody he could
from Hope, Arkansas, to Timbuktu
the Dems said what’s the big deal!
Monica Shmonica!
but Donaldo’s infamous “locker room talk”
incensed one and all and then
when he cagily triumphed,
then the Dems' youge double-standard,
and then embarrassingly
the sour grapes, shockingly sore
losers almost beyond measure then suddenly
the US Constitution has it backwards! ahem
Gore Vidal said that
he and JFK each had at least 500
sex partners over their lives
and JFK died young: celebrity sex
but Gore’s Malibu housemate Paul Newman
when queried about Hollywood sex said
When you have steak at home
you don’t go looking for hamburger
Alexander Hamilton was murdered by Aaron Burr
over St. Alexander’s infidelity
celebrity philandering can have
its price but it can yield 16 Tony
nominations and win eleven
who’s kidding who?
Copyright © 2017 by Patrick O’Hayer

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

been croupy for 10 days
not helped by tobacco addiction
growing up was always seriously
anti-smoking, nagged my mom
a passionate smoker since her early teens
yet, like all antis, i yenned
to experience the poison, finally started
in boot camp to avoid policing
the area during smoke breaks
--chose camels to honor kramer-o'grady
only pals who then puffed--
visiting the daughter to recover,
always straighten out here,
lose weight, re-connect
having absinthe with my coffee
to honor van gogh, who enjoyed
immensely his pipe, his hallucinogenics
lethal tobacco has anxiolitic
qualities and dampens appetite
big plusses in my current state
daughter suggested taking
a sick day today, no cavorting
no pool hall, no museums, no baking
just curling up with the dogs
and HBO Now, sr. avila
GoT, sex in the city
deadwood, wired, the young pope,
roommates, insecure,
deadwood, louis ck,
will report
positive outcomes
copyright © 2017 by p .j. o'hayer

Saturday, January 28, 2017



madonna's dad joe got mugged and i was pissed
i phoned the daily news and asked for mike royko
one ring: "royko"
i told him the story and the backstory
"i'll check it out"
meanwhile madonna's sister phoned him with the same facts
a few days later he did a column*
i went to the billy goat for a beer, the bar was crowded, i sat next to royko
though tempted to say hello
his aura was profoundly private
reading the paper
chain smoking pall malls 
"where particular people congregate" 's their motto
he slammed shots of christian brothers brandy
one after the other
where particular people congregate

*04/03/1972 chicago daily news

copyright © 2017 by patrick o'hayer

for noam chomsky

the barkeep's satanic wisdom
the existential madness of the clientele

mentor, mentee



copyright © 2017 by p. o'hayer

Monday, January 23, 2017


for BR

fuck physics
fuck a-bombs, h-bombs
fuck the gloriously wasteful moon shots, the space programs,
and psychotically dangerous
electricity generation
fuck nuclear medicine
fuck them all
fuck ben franklin
fuck galileo and his lifetime house arrest
fuck the italian inquisition for failing us
fuck these lethal speculations murdering millions
fuck big science too
fuck physics subsidies to big business
especially fuck big science
fuck sir isaac newton, mystic math wiz
fuck fermi
fuck the manhattan project and the commie physicist spies
fuck albert einstein, adulterer and a-bomb enthusiast
and terrible violinist
fuck the paradoxes of physics
fuck dark matter
fuck contradictions of absolute laws--bad poetry
fuck bad poetry
fuck predicting electron indeterminacy--who the fuck cares
fuck all the physics smartypants
their arrogance, their big-dollar lobbying, their bogus rationales
their miles-long underground accelerator toys
don't get me fucking started
fuck pop physics propaganda, clever marketing to the stupid
fuck the hubble telescope, multi-trillion-dollar hobbies
fuck the god particle
fuck cold fusion, so safe
we'll see
fuck the law of unintended consequences
fuck the catastrophic waste of big science
fuck three mile island, fukushima, chernobyl with the skeptical locals
fuck the fucking japs for world war two
fuck nagasaki, because the fucking physicists had to be sure
fuck trinity--good job, physicists
fuck the rationale that we can afford these searing levels of waste
we're starving here, dying here, killing 
everyone in sight, the twin towers
the shining path, the two state solution
fuck yucca mountain 
fuck reprocessing/storing murderous nuclear waste 
fuck physics
doesn't pass the smell test
cliches are so useful
but in the end
fuck physics
no doubt, except for the physicists
but fuck physicists
fuck string theory
fuck 16 dimensions
fuck big experimental physic toys
fuck cern 
hey, physicists, fuck your mother

copyright @ 2017 by p. fucking o'hayer